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 Story time

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Jess
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PostSubject: Story time   Sat Nov 02, 2013 2:32 am

Since Jeremy chucked his story onto currently the most successful thread in TILOS history. I figured why not make one big thread dedicated to sharing stories we made, regardless of how gut wrenching the content may be.

A Tribute to James "Jimbles" Jones:

It’s party time baby, James got his pointy cone hat, his bed sheets and dude I am fuckin wasted aussie aussie aussie oi oi oi. Dude that night I was smashed I think I just ruined my life. Everyone with a phone recorded me, makes me glad that Steve Jobs is burning in hell. So anyway I was out and about with my friends to Stacey’s sweet 16th with high expectations to get my dick sucked.

“Hey James, are you a virgin?” Bradley asked. Bradley was the typical high school jock, obsessed with High School football instead of focusing on useful qualifications.  “N-no” I replied, unfortunately for me I couldn’t keep all the spaghetti in my pocket so it all tumbled out onto the mat.
The car erupted into laughter as my spaghetti lays down on the floor for all to see.  “s-stop it, I-I want to have fuck but I’m too shy shy” that is when the car started to vibrate with laughter. Imagine pumping the subwoofer to full blast, the very same vibration occurred from everyone’s vocal chords.

Dylan, my mate who was driving the car, starting to tear up, struggling to breath for air he still managed to gasp and wheeze the words “Oh jesus christ what a fucking faggot” while still in hysterics. “n-no please, I’m a nice boy.” I pleaded for the life of my feelings.  To my dismay, even more spaghetti fumbled out of my pockets.

Laughing and carrying on, people in the car began to feel sharp pains all over their body from the tremendous laughter, which of course, only made the laughter greater. “Fuckin hell I’m dying here!” said Bradley, tearing up with his hands on his sides.  “You think you got it rough? I’m driving the fuckin car, holy shit I hope I don’t crash this aussie aussie aussie oi oi oi.”

At this point, James’s feelings took a critical hit with tears of his own flowing out. “I-I thought you guys were my f-f-friends” James said with a strange odor emitting from his pants.  The scent began to catch on with everyone; Dylan took one big whiff and recognized the smell straight away. “Dude did you just fucking shit yourself?”

Catching James off guard, his initially and clockwork response was “n-n-no” only then for himself to notice the spaghetti on the carpet has now changed colour. “YOU DID! YOU DID! YOU DUMPED YOUR ASS IN HIS FUCKIN CAR!” Now the laughter levels have reached a critical level.
The laughing and taunting was so great between the two, it shattered the fucking windows and glass went flying everywhere. In a panic, Dylan screamed “OH NO OH FUCK ME OH SHIT” swerving the car all over the road. Using his razor sharp wit, Bradley came up with joke of the year “Yeah, not as much shit that came out of this little virgin faggots ass.”

Dylan’s car once again erupted in laughter, subsequently got them parked under a truck moving 80mph. James will never forget the moment, his adrenaline pumping at a fantastic speed that he was able to witness the entire crash in slow motion before cutting to black.
He woke up a couple meters up the road to a wall of people taking pictures on their phones. “Hey, I think that guy over their shit himself, check out his duds” said a teenaged girl.  

The tone of the entire crowd quickly went from shock and awe to even more god damn laughing.
“STOP LAUGHING AT ME STOP LAUGHING AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” screamed James at the top of his lungs, only to be thrown back even more laughter. The teenaged girl now giggling herself silly turned to her friends “Wow I bet he’s a virgin too the fucking faggot!” to which another puss filled face told her “Yeah! Dude I could fuck you so hard right here and right now.”

Even though that had to be the most unexpected thing to say to someone at a scene of a crash, the next words that came out of her mouth would be even more surprising. “Yeah wouldn’t that totally piss him off? That’ll show the virgin aussie aussie aussie oi oi oi.” Before you would know it, the entire crowd was engaging in an orgy all except James.  The 40 year old truck driver who killed two of his friends was getting a nice slice of the action as well.

With two kinds of frustration, mostly sexual frustration, boiling through his veins, James stormed into the truck and found canisters of helium. “Yeah that’ll do” he said to himself. James took out his trusty pocket knife and gave him a circumcision. “YOWCH THAT SMARTS” has he ripped the skin off his knob. “Now for the tricky part!”
Grabbing a nearby piece of string, he tied the end of his foreskin up, attaching the string to the flap of skin and filled it up with plenty of helium.

Walking back outside truck with his makeshift balloon he started to float up into the skies.
“I’m off to start a new life now, goodbye forever!” he sulked to a crowd of people who could care less. Nobody heard his goodbye as he drifted off into the air. He was never seen again.


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PostSubject: Re: Story time   Sat Nov 02, 2013 2:47 am

Skeletor Fanfic I was working on when Jesse challenged me to write something better than his Jimbles story.

Spoiler:
 


A Stalker-esque short story I was working on after a rainstorm. I love the sound of rain clattering on sheet metal so I wrote a story around that feeling of warmth and comfort. Don't ask why I'm just idunno. Unfinished work in progress.

Spoiler:
 


Gross "erotic" story I wrote with Jesse a few months back. Some say it's the greatest I've ever written. I disagree. Could make money off it though.

Spoiler:
 

Currently writing a new one. Stay tuned.


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PostSubject: Re: Story time   Sat Nov 02, 2013 3:00 am

Here it is again.

It was a bright and balmy summer day. Jimmy had just gotten out of bed and had an incredibly erect cock. Jimmy's mother walked in and was shocked at the sized of her sons wood. "Jimmy I...I I have to suck that massive throbbing dick!" "Ew no way mom!" said a startled Jimmy. Jimmy out of panic tried to run away from his cock hungry mother, his massive dick crashed through his house wall and he was now running down the street impaling vehicles and small children with his wonder dick when suddenly his phone rang. It was his aunt, she needed him to come and baby sit her faggot ass son for the night. "Sure thing!" said Jimmy. Jimmy headed over to his aunts house now using his firehose of cum as a jet pack. "Wow you got here quick" explained Jimmy's annoying as fuck aunt. "Jimmy wait what are you doing no!" But it was too late, Jimmy's massive cock had already destroyed her tight ass in a matter of minutes. Jimmy thought of a clever idea. He already had his aunt jammed onto his cock he could use her corpse as a puppet to lure her son out his room. "Frankie I made lunch come out and get it you fucking twat" yelled a sneering Jimmy. Frankie(Jimmy's Aunt's son) came out and didn't suspect a thing. "SPLAT!" Frankie was hit by a massive cum explosive which left him stuck to a wall. Jimmy showed the bruised and sticky Frankie that his mother was nothing more than a corpse. Frankie began to scream. Jimmy said "Now watch you little shit as I fuck your mom into obliteration" This lasted a minute or two until Jimmy's aunt was nothing more than a paste. Jimmy sucked up the remains through his cock like an elephants trunk and shot it up Frankies ass. Frankie eventually exploded and Jimmy thought it was time to scram. Jimmy hit the road occasionally fucking peoples asses and shit eventually ending up in Atlanta, Georgia. Jimmy lived as a bum for a while until he came across none other than Jeremy J. Zimmermann. Jeremy was also known around town for having a huge dick so Jimmy though it might be a good idea for the two to pair up and go on a nation wide butt fucking spree. Jeremy told Jimmy he only fucked girls but eventually agreed to join him on his quest. The two had a grand ole time stopping in various places but they met their end in Battle Creek, Michigan they met some faggot with long hair and glasses that repeatedly told them he wasn't fat despite the noticeable gut, he requested that they double penetrate his virgin ass and the two unwilling complied since he said that he'd give them Fuck World Trade by Leftover Crack on vinyl. Unfortunately some smelly queer named Ben decided to ruin everything when he came in and demanded to know who ate the last of his pizza rolls. It's unknown what exactly happened two the Duo but it's presumed they were consumed whole by Ben.
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PostSubject: Re: Story time   Sat Nov 02, 2013 3:20 am

once apon a time there was the guy having sex with his gril friend and his girl friend was hungry so she got a lighter and lit it beneath the dude ballsack heating up his sperm and the she sucked it out the end squakeual cumming soon

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PostSubject: Re: Story time   Sat Nov 02, 2013 7:12 am

There once was a man from Peru,
who fell asleep in a canoe,
while dreaming of venus,
he played with his penis,
and woke up with a hand full of goo.

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